Few advices which made me repent for following:
You don’t need books. They will give you in college. And you are supposed to read notes, not books.
You have brains, you won’t need tuition right now, go to tuitions for second year.
Things started to get bad, first with Physics, and then Maths, and then personally.
I don’t remember name of the lecturer, who was teaching us Physics. I didn’t have book, so I didn’t know the name of chapter he was teaching. I came to know that it was scalars & vectors much later. It was heavily above the head. I could not follow anything he said. His english wasn’t best, neither was mine. After the class I was dumbstruck. I think I asked Vinod what he understood. He replied.
“I understood that there one line points towards that direction (with body action) and another points to this direction. I could not understand anything else”. Sadly, there were much more to understand. Many formulae which were used to calculate many other things (I don’t remember what are they). 🙂 Nothing got into the head.
Then there were scholars in our class. To name a few, Praveen, Pavitra, Anant, Ganesh etc. They unknowingly induced inferiority complex in my mind. Nothing bad on their part. They were just answering to questions, or doing what a good student is supposed to do. But, unable to understand things, and feeling too ashamed to ask questions to lecturers (as everything was new and many students could understand it) I just hid my problems.
One more worst thing happened with me that, as I scored 95.2% in SSLC, they put me in A section. This was section of high scoring students, and teachers openly used to say that they don’t go into thorough details of text. We were supposedly intelligent enough to grasp even if they taught less. And, as the scholar students were able to grasp it, and those were not as efficient as them went to tuitions and learnt it, me, doing neither, was left behind.
I still think if I was in B section, I would score more, would have survived disasters of future.
I remember Managala Madam used to teach Trigonometry. Before I could grasp basics, she went to advanced topics (fairly advanced). And the things I did not know compounded. If I look at that syllabus now, it was not THAT HARD. But when you are going through a bad time, everything goes against you. My approach, her approach, and others approach towards the subject were not at all resembling. There was no sync.
Meanwhile, through my Brother in La, I got contact of N.K. Naik, THE GENTELMAN. He was teaching us Chemistry, and he was efficient, both in administration and teaching. Chemistry was not that hard for me yet, and it was quite good.
While everything around me was messy, I was determined to do one thing.
Those were the days when Kumta didn’t have a broadband connection (2007-08). Reliance internet was all over, and I can’t imagine how I used to surf in there. For first few days, I went to my brother in la’s office, and started spending time on internet. And I learnt one thing there.
How to search in Google.
Today, often people ask me “how can I earn online?” “How can I learn programming?” etc. And my first answer to them is to google it. No one advised me to create website for myself, but i did. Everyone were opposing me spending time on internet. But I sticked to it.
Then I moved to Nithyadhar Xerox, which had comparatively good computers (which was 256mb ram). That was the situation of cyber cafes in Kumta at that time. Of course, I didn’t know much about computers yet. I had account at yahoo. I don’t remember username of that account anymore, let alone password. I spent time searching, and searching, and searching, and searching more.
Why this Website Madness Di?
I read a small column in Sudha, a guy made millions by selling pixels. Recently I came to know that it was http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/. But that was the inspiration. I knew my disabilities. I could not talk well with people. Could not convince anyone. And thus, I could sell anything directly. If I can’t sell directly, then I can’t make money. The only way was to make money through something which did not require speaking. Ultimately, it was through internet.
I thought I would do internet marketing. Again, i researched. Clickbank was the first place where I tried to market things. I had to have a website. I started with building website through free hosts & online website builders. I spent countless hours figuring out things from scratch.
Meanwhile in college & room:
First unit test came and went. I scored less. I thought I would study well for second test, and score better. Chetan Achari also got less marks, but he knew what to do. He joined elite group, and studied well. All those SLIDING DOWN was still on in studies. Meanwhile, something happened in room.
I was in sister’s house for a night and came back. I came to know that a small kind-off-ragging incident happened. Ragging was & is & will be one of the most hated things by me. Actually, it was not a full blown ragging. More of an “Acting” of ragging than actual ragging. I just informed it to sister, and they asked me to change my room, and to live alone.
I obeyed, and I didn’t inform my decision to my partner, and instead did a melodrama. Ya, that was not something I should have done. Something I regret. Anyway:
Krishna Prasad, I am Sorry.
And I moved to my own room. And there you go. Everything went completely out of track.
- No eating time to time
- No healthy food
- No control on anything.
- Started to spend more time on internet, started to bunk classes.
Second unit tests were also not good. Meanwhile, my health got a serious damage. And I missed more classes. No books, no notes, no one to teach (may be because I didn’t ask), and I was completely lost. In front of my eyes, within a span of couple of months, I turned into a backbencher from an elite student.
Somehow I got 60+ % and passed from first year.